Embrace sex as a pleasure, not a chore

Sex therapy offers a space to explore sexual concerns through thoughtful conversation rather than technique alone. This work may include changes in sexual desire over time, difficulties with arousal, sexual pain or vaginal closing that persists after medical evaluation, or traumatic responses that arise during sexual contact. Many sexual concerns have a psychological component and benefit from an approach that slows the process and attends to meaning rather than performance.

At Liaison, I practice existential sex therapy and work primarily with individuals. I am often contacted when couples therapy reaches an impasse. In these moments, the focus turns inward. Sexuality, desire, agency and meaning are explored at the individual level, where there is room for honesty without the pressure to negotiate or protect a partner’s experience. This work supports greater clarity about one’s sexual life and inner world, allowing clients to return to relational work with more self understanding or to make decisions with greater integrity. On occasion, a partner may be invited into a session when it supports clarity or integration of the individual’s work.

Sexuality is shaped by relationships, culture, memory, and meaning. At the same time, when sexuality becomes something to be fixed within the relationship, it can collapse under expectation or fear. In couples settings, sexual concerns may become framed as problems to solve rather than experiences to understand. This can create pressure to explain or justify sexuality instead of exploring it openly.

In existential sex therapy, sexual concerns are approached individually. Questions of desire, consent, identity, and embodiment are held with care and without relational pressure. From this perspective, sexual authenticity arises through self understanding and choice rather than negotiation or performance. Sexuality is deeply relational, but it is often best understood privately before it is shared.

Most Common Sexual Concerns

Vaginismus: Closing of the vaginal opening preventing penetration

Dyspareunia: Vaginal penetration is painful

Female anorgasmia: Orgasms do not occur

Diminished sexual desire

Compulsive Sexual Behavior (CSB)

Unreliable Erections

Delayed Ejaculation

Emotional injuries and complex relationship dynamics often underlie these concerns.

Existential sex therapists use psychologically-based interventions to gain a profound understanding of concerns and paths toward processing resolutions. Common treatments used by sex therapists include verbally exploring experiences that may be contributing to current difficulties, developing communication skills, understanding body language, learning how to express sexual intimacy, and addressing shame or guilt around sexuality. At-home assignments such as sensate focus are common.

To clarify an indiscreet misconception, sex therapy sessions DO NOT involve any sex related acts or physical contact. Sex therapists are licensed mental health professionals who work within the realms of psychology (talk therapy). It’s “all talk and no action.”

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