You can’t control other people—but you can always choose how you respond.
In existential sex therapy, this truth is central. Drawing from Stoicism, Rollo May and Emmy van Deurzen, the post explores how trying to change others often masks deeper fears. Instead of seeking control, both philosophies encourage self-responsibility, clarity, and authentic choice.

Your power doesn’t lie in managing others—it lies in how you live, love, and respond.

An existential sex therapist urges us to move beyond checklist dating and choose partners based on values and character, not surface traits. True intimacy comes from shared authenticity, emotional depth and the courage to face life’s uncertainties together—not from perfect compatibility. Existential sex therapy supports this deeper, more meaningful approach to relationships.

This blog post from an existential sex therapist explores why sex can feel like a chore, despite being meant for pleasure. Using principles of existential sex therapy, it reframes sexual disconnection not as dysfunction, but as a loss of personal meaning. It encourages embracing ambivalence, questioning cultural expectations, and reclaiming agency. The core message: sex should be a choice, not an obligation—and pleasure begins with meaning.

This blog post, from an existential sex therapist’s perspective, explores the idea that "what you do not change, you choose." In relationships, especially around sexual intimacy, avoiding difficult conversations—about desire, disconnection or unmet needs—is still a choice that leads to deeper disconnection.

Rather than blaming or avoiding, the post encourages couples to take responsibility, face discomfort and intentionally rebuild connection. It reframes sex as a space for meaning and emotional truth—not just performance. Avoidance shapes your relationship as much as action does. To feel more connected, choose to show up, speak honestly and change what isn’t working.

This blog post explores the idea that sex reflects our inner emotional and psychological states. Rather than being just a physical act, sex often reveals deeper truths about our fears, desires, and self-worth. In sex therapy, clients learn to view sexual struggles not as dysfunctions, but as meaningful expressions of how they relate to themselves and others. By treating sex as a mirror, individuals can explore their patterns, vulnerabilities, and the search for connection—ultimately moving toward more authentic and fulfilling intimacy.

As an existential sex therapist, I take a critical stance toward diagnostic labels, which often oversimplify complex human experiences. While diagnosis can offer temporary validation, it can also bypass deeper truths—such as unresolved trauma, existential fear, or relational disconnection.

Drawing on thinkers like Irvin Yalom and Emmy van Deurzen, existential therapy avoids pathologizing clients or using quick-fix techniques. Instead, it emphasizes presence, meaning, and personal responsibility. We don’t ask, “What disorder do you have?” but rather, “How are you living, and what is your suffering trying to say?”

In this approach, symptoms aren’t problems to be “fixed,” but signals pointing to a deeper story—one that deserves to be heard, understood, and lived through authentically.