Inconsistent relationships thrive on intermittent reinforcement, like slot machines, where sporadic "hot" periods create addictive anticipation. Initial intensity fosters strong positive associations, making subsequent "cold" periods anxiety-inducing. We chase the fleeting "hot" to relieve this anxiety, hoping for a return to the beginning. While behaviorist techniques offer temporary relief, existential psychology emphasizes aligning relationships with personal values. By pausing to reflect on whether a relationship provides pleasure, peace, or purpose, we can choose to disengage from incongruent patterns and seek authentic connections.

Sensate focus, a core technique in psychological sex therapy developed by Masters & Johnson, blends mindfulness and gradual exposure to address sexual anxiety and improve intimacy. It involves structured touching exercises, shifting focus from goal-oriented sex to sensory experiences. While it may resemble CBT, its foundation lies in mindfulness, an approach predating CBT. By focusing on present-moment awareness and non-judgmental observation of sensations, sensate focus helps clients manage anxiety related to touch and intimacy. It's a versatile tool for various sexual difficulties, including body image issues, erectile dysfunction, and orgasm disorders. Existential psychotherapy, while often addressing underlying psychological concerns, recognizes sensate focus as a valuable, complementary method, making it a "Swiss Army knife" in sex therapy.