This blog post, from an existential sex therapist’s perspective, explores the idea that "what you do not change, you choose." In relationships, especially around sexual intimacy, avoiding difficult conversations—about desire, disconnection or unmet needs—is still a choice that leads to deeper disconnection.

Rather than blaming or avoiding, the post encourages couples to take responsibility, face discomfort and intentionally rebuild connection. It reframes sex as a space for meaning and emotional truth—not just performance. Avoidance shapes your relationship as much as action does. To feel more connected, choose to show up, speak honestly and change what isn’t working.

This blog post explores the idea that sex reflects our inner emotional and psychological states. Rather than being just a physical act, sex often reveals deeper truths about our fears, desires, and self-worth. In sex therapy, clients learn to view sexual struggles not as dysfunctions, but as meaningful expressions of how they relate to themselves and others. By treating sex as a mirror, individuals can explore their patterns, vulnerabilities, and the search for connection—ultimately moving toward more authentic and fulfilling intimacy.

As an existential sex therapist, I take a critical stance toward diagnostic labels, which often oversimplify complex human experiences. While diagnosis can offer temporary validation, it can also bypass deeper truths—such as unresolved trauma, existential fear, or relational disconnection.

Drawing on thinkers like Irvin Yalom and Emmy van Deurzen, existential therapy avoids pathologizing clients or using quick-fix techniques. Instead, it emphasizes presence, meaning, and personal responsibility. We don’t ask, “What disorder do you have?” but rather, “How are you living, and what is your suffering trying to say?”

In this approach, symptoms aren’t problems to be “fixed,” but signals pointing to a deeper story—one that deserves to be heard, understood, and lived through authentically.

Written through the lens of an existential sex therapist, this post explores the emotional and relational complexity of mismatched desire in intimate partnerships. It emphasizes that differences in sexual desire aren't just about frequency—they’re about meaning, identity, vulnerability, and communication.

Rather than treating mismatched desire as a dysfunction to be fixed, the post frames it as a doorway into deeper self-understanding and relational truth. Through sex therapy and couples therapy, partners are invited to explore the emotional roots of their desire, unspoken fears, and the ways performance or avoidance have shaped their connection.

Absolutely perfect alignment with another human being is unrealistic. The goal isn’t perfect alignment, but greater authenticity, curiosity, and compassion—so that intimacy becomes less about pressure or rejection and more about honest presence and emotional safety.

This sex therapy blog post ends with reassurance that mismatched desire is not a sign of failure, but an invitation to reconnect—with oneself, each other, and the deeper truths beneath the surface.

Denial is where many clients get stuck after relationships with partners who exhibit narcissistic traits. It protects them from painful truths but also keeps them trapped in cycles—often leading to repeated relationships with similar dynamics.

In existential sex therapy, denial is explored, not judged. By understanding what it protected, reconnecting with the body’s truth and grieving unmet needs, clients begin to break the pattern. Healing starts when denial ends—opening the door to authentic, embodied, and self-directed intimacy.